Thursday, May 4, 2006
One chapter ended, a new page begun.
What once was firm has come undone.
I cannot know how long t’will be,
But hope is strong to set fear free.
I feel as though one chapter of my life has ended, each page turned with hope, and fear, and broken promises. Now that tale has ended, and a new chapter holds great adventures. The thrills it promises are tempting, but my apprehensions are strong. Should I dare delve into the next without reflecting on the last?
I feel similar to the phoenix, the wretched creature destined to rise from the ashes only to decimate fools that venture near, and designed in abhorrence to die a million times over. There is no salvation or peace for beings such as I, but I remember what it was to hope. Do I dare to dream again?
As I contemplated how best to begin my new life, I felt unsure of myself—timid and guilt-ridden as I reflected on all the wrongs I’d inflicted. I felt no remorse for the decision which hurt him, for in my mind I had no choice, but the unfathomable regret for my Heart’s agony tortured me without rest or hint of compassion.
My heart cries streams of scarlet tears
For all I’ve lost in two long years.
And what I knew was wrought apart
Had paved the way for a second start.
From earth and ashes shall I rise,
Heart set, Heav’n-bound, for clearer skies.
My mother always said to me, “When God closes one door, He always opens another.” I had no idea how soon that second door would open to me.
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