Author's Note

I feel compelled to explain the circumstances of which I write. I was twenty-one at the time, a senior journalism major at Hood College and a full-time reporter for a news organization in the county where I lived. On a personal note, I was in a serious relationship with Bryan, my high school sweetheart with whom I had made plans to marry. Bryan was in the last years of his time in the military; he had just finished his long deployment overseas when we reunited August 9, 2004. We had two years together, though in honesty we were only in each other’s company for a year, having been forced to endure periods of underway and duty days. He came back as often as he was able, and I cleared all engagements and appointments to be his in the time that he was home.

My parents, much wiser than I, recognized the mistakes in my actions and made efforts to correct me, but I fought them tooth and nail on the matter, which resulted in unresolved tension at home. I stood by Bryan faithfully; in my mind I was already married to him, and so I was even more convicted in what I believed needed to be done.

For two years, it carried on this way, and then at the beginning of Spring Semester 2006, I met John. He was twenty-six, a senior psychology and Latin-American studies major, a native of Bolivia and technically married, although legally separated for more than a year. We took Chinese Philosophy and Astronomy together, a course schedule which allowed us to become close friends.

John made me realize a great deal about my relationship with Bryan, something that my parents were never able to demonstrate, and in so doing he changed my life forever. This is the tale of love and lovers, of one woman’s heart divided between two men, a story told through the confessions of a modern-day Guinevere.

Note to the Reader:

As a reader, you will notice that I avoid using names. I believe that they would have detracted from the abstractness of the poetic writing—I think that it is clear to whom I am referring in any given passage—and I had hoped that readers may be more inclined to apply my emotions, expressed through poetry, journal entries and quotes to add another element to the script, to themselves and their own experiences.

All poetry, journal entries and quotes are written in italics to preserve their independence from the more objective body. Poetry, that which is not of my own design, is attributed to its correct author, and more often than not, is cited beside its original publication.

This is my first attempt at sitting down and writing a novel. It might be amateur in nature, which is why I appreciate any comments, constructive criticism and feedback from those willing to read my online manuscript.

Comments

[N8]

I am left without words, as there are no words that can describe what reading the things I read on this page made me feel. You are a talented beauty, and I look forward to the journey.